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Priceless

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Money can’t buy moments like this. Is this perfect? No! I was sweaty and had just walked in the house from a shoot. But when I picked her up from being away for a few hours, it was perfect. The way she looks at me, so perfectly…that moment is frozen in time forever. Truly priceless.

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Lisa Rister McGriff - October 1, 2014 - 3:53 pm

Enjoy those priceless moments and hold them close in your heart, they grow up way to fast.

Kaylie B. Poplin - October 14, 2014 - 10:00 pm

I am a sucker for black and white photos! These are in my top favorites.

Expectations & Motherhood

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Before Jonathan and I got married, we went through marriage counseling. One of our biggest take-always was to let go of our expectations for marriage and what we think our spouse should do and be. (Now that we’re parents, I think kid counseling should be highly encouraged before having babies! Ha!) I’m learning that I need to do the same in regard to having a child too. She was four weeks old here…so tiny and frail. When I look at these images I hardly recognize the girl in them. I’m a mom. I’m a mom? We’re 7 weeks in and it still doesn’t feel real. Parenthood is not what I thought thus far…although I’m not sure what I thought it would be. Everyday I’ve had to let go of the little things I thought or hoped might be our reality and accept what is right in front of me.

I’ve had to let go of expectations for our marriage. I honestly loved being where we were in our relationship. We had a groove. And it was a good one. We’ve had to work through plenty, but we found a good place. Now parenthood is thrown into the mix, which hasn’t changed anything but has changed everything at the same time. We had our 3 1/2 years to savor just us and it was time. I have to figure out how to still put him first even though there is a tiny human with claims on all my energy. I am first a wife, then a mama. That’s going to take a while to figure out. I cannot let any sort of expectation for me or Jonathan take away the joy of figuring out our new groove together. There is so much I want to be, but for now being a good wife looks like still doing the laundry and making sure he knows he’s still my favorite. Romance looks like taking turns sleeping. I can’t expect too much right now. We will grow and learn. As long as we keep at it together, stay honest and continue to love we will be just fine. It will be different than before, but that’s ok.

I’ve had to let go of my expectations for my body. This is a big one. Bringing a baby into the world has changed me forever. Our little Elle left her mark. I probably had more secret hopes and expectations for myself in this area than any other. I struggle with body image like most every girl does. I had a hard enough time loving everything about myself physically before I got pregnant, then I went though all the changes pregnancy brings! Once I started growing a life inside me, the thought of never being able to even go back to how I was seemed almost unbearable. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m so proud of what my body has been capable of doing. I’m so grateful to have housed a miracle. I’m so honored to bear the stripes of motherhood, but that doesn’t make it easier to embrace the new me I see in the mirror. I’m having to let go of the hopes for what I wanted to get back to and not let that consume me. I’m trying to be ok with the fact that the number might not ever get back to where it was and that a good bit of my closet may have to be retired. As long as I’m living a healthy lifestyle and taking care of myself, I can’t ask for more. I also can’t expect to go through something so altering and snap back like nothing happened. Wishful thinking won’t make it any better. I will get stronger again but that isn’t the most important thing right now. I CAN and WILL learn to give myself grace and find gratitude for being incredibly blessed in so many ways.

I’ve had to let to of expectations for my work life. Trying to find balance between being a mama and running a business has been really hard. I knew from the get-go that I’d need some help. I don’t feel bad about that in the slightest. I have no doubt that being away from my baby to do the job I love makes me a better person and mom. I also don’t feel bad about enjoying the mornings that I have to myself in the office. It’s refreshing and rejuvenating. I love my girl, but I don’t miss her while I’m working. Am I ready to get back and see her again when I’m done? Absolutely. I don’t think I could be a good mom without my job. It’s as much a part of me as she is. However, I feel like I never have enough time for work. I want to separate work from family life, but that is really hard. I haven’t figured it all out yet. Maybe I need more office hours or maybe I just need to learn how to multitask a little better. I don’t know. I hoped it would all come easily, but I’m learning to let go of my image of a perfect work and home life. I just have to take it one day at a time. Sometimes I have to put work on hold for her and others times I may need to be ok with more hours in the office. I know God will guide me as He has thus far in my business. He gets credit for where I am anyway. He will sustain me for the task He has in store.

I’ve had to let go of expectations for my little Eleanora. She is her own person and may not act how I hope or wish sometimes. She is a great baby, but I can’t say everything is perfect. We haven’t mastered sleeping though the night yet. (Although, she did go 7 hours last nigh! Praises!) I’ve had far too many nights than I care to count without sleep. She had a terrible case of baby rash/acne and there was nothing I could do to make it go away. She has a slight milk intolerance and I have to stay away from dairy. I thought we’d have a better schedule by now, but we’re still working on it. I have an idea of how things might go with her and I’ve read about what could happen, but I can’t really expect those things from her when the books say they’ll happen. What works for most babies may not work for Elle. I have to be ok with that. We will both learn and grow together. No matter what happens, we will be ok! These little things aren’t the end of the world, even though it may seem like it in the moment! I can only expect so much of myself too. I’m not super-human. It upsets me sometimes that I can only handle so much. I’m a driven person and go-getter by nature, so not being able to “go” sometimes can be a little disappointing. I have to constantly remind myself to slow down and savor these moments. On Tuesdays, we have a mommy and baby girl day…just the two of us. So far, I love having a whole day that I only focus on her. She is growing so fast and these days are already passing so quickly! 

All in all, I’m thankful for this journey. I’m so glad I have the honor of doing life with Jonathan and Eleanora. They are more than I deserve. Although this has been more about the hard things I’m learning, life holds so much joy. There have been moments where I know I’ve never been happier. Still, at the same time I believe that is a choice. I love those two and will gladly make sacrifices for them. I look forward to how God will stretch and teach me in this season of life. I can let go of all my expectations because His ways are best.

“God always gives His best to those who leave the choice with Him.” (Jim Elliot)

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Kaylie B. Poplin - September 30, 2014 - 5:39 pm

I love and adore you!

Jenessa Bruce - September 30, 2014 - 6:09 pm

Beautiful Jennifer! You’re definitely doing fantastic I know! I appreciate the insight and transparency, as I look forward to that stage in life as well. I know I’ll have a lot of expectations for myself and so forth; I’ll probably need to read this again in a couple years 🙂 You’re a blessing!

Janee Grace Hassell - September 30, 2014 - 11:19 pm

Great post!

Zoe Rose - October 1, 2014 - 6:09 am

I love your honest and the wisdom in what you’re learning. Motherhood is hard and the best. Our little boy is six months and it has flown, we are still working on sleeping longer too, they are all their own little person. You’re doing a great job! I read a great book about motherhood by Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson which I found really refreshing.

Hope Sewell - October 1, 2014 - 11:07 am

One encouraging thought that I held on to in my early days of motherhood is that time is on my side. She WILL learn to sleep through the night….eventually!! You WILL figure out a schedule, niche and groove as the days go on. This phase is only temporary….the good parts and the bad. Although I know we all struggle with body image issues this should be the LEAST of your worries because you look vibrant and beautiful!! Grace and gratefulness in the newborn stage wasn’t something I feel I mastered until my third baby. And even then, mastered isn’t the correct word. But you can rest assured that you’ll get there!! Time IS on your side! Then it’ll be on to another phase and time of growth. So goes life. Be encouraged that God gives us the grace we need for the moment. Hugs!! 🙂

Eleanora | One Month Old

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Eleanora Rose is one month old today! It seems like the longest month of my life and yet it’s flown by. It still doesn’t seem real. She fits into our lives so perfectly and I can’t imagine anything different. We think she is just the cutest thing ever too. Adjusting to life with a baby is definitely not easy, but she’s worth it. Our off days look a lot more boring now, (We take turns napping! Haha!) and our lives are a bit more complicated. Still, we’re continuing life like normal. We’re both back to doing the jobs we love and the things we’re passionate about…just with a little one to think about now. She’s our favorite little tag-along! My days are a little slower and filled with lots of spit up and diapers, but that feels pretty normal now. We’re on an adventure as we try to figure out being a new mama, running a business and being a part of ministry with Jonathan. It’s complicated, unpredictable and messy at times, but I really wouldn’t have it any other way. Sometimes it’s really hard. Sometimes it’s completely overwhelming. But as Theodore Roosevelt said, “Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty…I have never in my life envied a human being who led and easy life. I have envied a great many people who led difficult lives and led them well.” So that is what we are striving for these days. We want to live well, regardless of what each day brings. We strive to do the hard things, whether that looks like choosing spit up and poo over “important” emails and events, sacrificing sleep to work at a job that means something, filling my days with people when I’d rather just take a nap and be alone, letting things go so I can focus on my baby without distractions for a while…or whatever form the challenge takes from day to day. I won’t say this month has been easy at all, but it has been worth everything. Then again, I can’t say any month of my life has ever been easy. These are just different joys and struggles. In every season, including this one, I have been so blessed even if things are hard. Eleanora is such a joy. She’s made me cry from exhaustion and smile from the greatest love I’ve ever felt. She is one of the best, most wonderfully difficult challenges we will ever take on in life. We love her more than we can ever express.

Here’s a few monthly updates on our little lady:

  • She smiles a lot, especially in the morning. 7 am is her favorite.
  • Bed time, however, is not her favorite. We struggle.
  • She will gladly wear headbands all the livelong day…which makes her mama pretty happy!
  • If we ever lose her froggy paci we are in deep trouble because she loves it so much!
  • She’s so altert and curious about the world when she’s awake.
  • Her neck muscles are pretty strong, and if you’re not careful she will take a nose dive off your shoulder!
  • A few of her newborn outfits are getting a little snug. We’re happy to see a few rolls here and there!
  • Her hair is coming in more and still light brown.
  • We are smitten with her blue eyes.
  • She is a good-tempered little miss and happy most of the time.
  • Sleep is ok. We’re still working on what works best for us at nighttime.
  • She does sleep in her crib all night and generally wakes up once anywhere from 3-5 am.
  • She is incredibly noisy when she sleeps and makes all kinds of weird sounds. (She gets it from her daddy!)
  • She loves to nap on daddy’s chest and he can always get her to fall asleep.
  • The swing is a favorite place for afternoon naps…or her ergo carrier.
  • Eating is not a problem for her at all. She’s a champ.
  • We love rocking in her rocking chair.
  • She loves going for walks around the neighborhood, especially when it’s not too sunny.
  • Riding in the car is bliss…she falls asleep every time.
  • When she gets mad really mad, she will make a cry face but no sound comes out.
  • Her mad faces are actually kind of hilarious.
  • She has the funniest expressions when she’s sleepy. She’ll go from smiling to frowning in a second.
  • The bathroom fan and shower noise puts her to sleep.
  • She HATES being swaddled and prefers to be able to move her arms and legs around.
  • Bath time is her favorite and she loves to taste the water on her fist.
  • She likes to listen to classical music, loves to be sung to and likes to sit in mama’s lap while she plays the piano.

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Happy one month of life little one!

Eleanora’s Newborn Session & Nursery Tour

newborns-nursery-2-2It seems like it’s been such a long time since we (and by we I mean mostly me) dreamed up this little space for our baby girl. Months ago I envisioned a calm and inviting space where we’d spend time together. I’m certainly no designer, but I’m so happy with how it all came together. The soft ocean hues feel so peaceful. It’s definitely my favorite room in the house. I love to rock Eleanora and look out her windows. My sister took a few photos of us in her little room as well. (I’m not sure what I’d do with out her! Love you sis!) I managed to do a few “newborns” when she was about a week and a half old too…which is easier said than done! (I’m finding that photographing my own child is a lot harder than working with other people’s kids!) I loved incorporating her nursery theme by using seafoam and a sea glass tiara. My sweet friend Carlee designed it! She’s so incredibly talented! I’m so thankful for these memories of our beginnings as a threesome!

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Most everything in Eleanora’s nursery was a bargain find, gift or a hand-me-down. I repainted and worked on a lot of things myself instead of buying everything new. Once I found something I loved, I looked for the cheaper version. Etsy is great for that! It took a lot more time that way, but it’s always good to be frugal. It was a fun challenge as well! My only splurge was my white rocker. I know it will probably get messes up (she’s already had one middle of the night explosion on it!) but it was worth it anyway! Here are some of the sources.

Eleanora’s tiara | Custom design by Carlee Sizemore
Crib | Jenny Lind
Linen crib skirt | handmade
Crib sheets | Pottery Barn
Map of Greece | Etsy find, custom framed
Wingback Rocker | Pottery Barn
Dresser | Antique hand-me-down
Sea glass lamp | Target
Bookcase | Target
Moroccan pouf | Etsy
Stitched quilt | Pottery Barn
Curtains | J C Penny’s
Wall hooks | Hobby Lobby
Rocking horse | Gift from great-grandparents
Watercolor “E” wall art | Hobby Lobby, hand painted
“My love is the sea” print | hand painted
Sea Fan prints | Etsy
Watercolor “E” print | hand painted
Verse print & frame | Custom gift from a friend

Melanie Chrystn Stauffer - September 1, 2014 - 8:19 pm

Your little family is just too precious! What a beautiful little space you’ve created! Congratulations for this wonderful blessing – you are glowing!

– Melanie (www.athistage.blogspot.com)

jenniferblairphoto@gmail.com - September 2, 2014 - 12:42 pm

Thank you Melanie! You’re so sweet!

Jessica L. Burdge - September 2, 2014 - 5:20 pm

she is lovely! certainly worth the wait -the nursery looks so peaceful <3

[…] for! I love the delicate florals and soft blue tones. It’s a perfect match for E’s sea inspired nursery. Of course, I had to include the sweet tiara Carlee Sizemore made for her in these photos as well. […]

Eleanora | The first two weeks

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Our little Eleanora is already 2 weeks old! I can’t believe it. I’m hoping to document a few memories and images of her for each stage. They’re a bit random, but they’ll probably be from our daily moments together that I want to remember. So far Eleanora seems to have a laid back personality. For the most part she’s very pleasant when she’s awake. She loves the late morning and early afternoon hours and gets a little fussy at night right before bed. (It’s usually when Jonathan and I finally sit down on the couch together. Of course!) When she is awake, she is likes all the attention. She’s a great little eater and was already almost 8lbs at her 2 week check up. She doesn’t look it though with her tiny hiney and skinny arms and legs! Her eyes have also become lighter and more blue everyday. She loves her swing and her froggy paci. So far we call her Eleanora, baby girl, sweet cheeks and sweet girl. I’m sure the list will get much longer! We’ve also managed to get her to sleep in her crib, after trying a million different things! I’m still pretty tired from going to bed late and getting up in the middle of the night, but I’m hoping we can fall into a good schedule this next week. Its been challenging, but we are so thankful for her little life. Whenever I get so exhausted that I feel like I cant do it anymore, she always gives me the cutest little smile. It’s a sweet reminder that all this is worth the sacrifice, and that this is meant to refine me. She’s already growing and changing so quickly, so I’m trying to remember to soak in all these little moments.

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Little lady was 4 days old here! We managed to get dressed and out the door for our 4 day appointment! It was a major success. I adore this little sailor outfit!

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Eleanora wasn’t a huge fan of her first bath, but she likes them much better now that she can sit in the water. She looks so enthused! Ha!

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We love our morning snuggles…especially on Saturday when Jonathan is home too!

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Ah, I think she is just a doll…most of the time! She’s awake quite a lot, but when she does finally sleep it’s hilarious. Almost nothing will wake her up.

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We love our little Eleanora Rose!

Cindy - August 26, 2014 - 6:16 pm

Beautiful…all of you! Hugs and blessings, Cindy

Kristen - August 29, 2014 - 8:27 pm

She is so incredibly beautiful! What a precious little blessing!

jenniferblairphoto@gmail.com - September 2, 2014 - 12:42 pm

Thank you so much Kristen!