Our everyday, immortalized…

There are really too many photos to post of our life lately. So here’s them all in one go! Life has changed so much since Christmas. Eleanora is such an independent little lady these days. We started potty training this week (she’s doing much better than I anticipated!) and talking up a storm these days. We count, one…two…nine…and talk about colors all the time. “HIIII BLLUUUUEEE ROOOOOM!” is a recent favorite. We pick flowers every day, play play-dough and blow bubbles all the live-long day. She’s either the sweetest thing in the world or really, well, not sweet. She loves shouting “NO” at the top of her lungs as a response to everything. (We’re working on it.) The fact that she lets me braid her beautiful curly locks almost makes up for all the harder times. Ha! Every morning, she toddles into our room super early and says “hi mama!” and it’s the sweetest thing ever. When I check on her before bed I often find her lying in the middle of her floor surrounded by her toys, having fallen asleep in mid-play – when all seemed quiet, because apparently she just can’t miss out on any fun. Ha! When she wakes up, her first response is often to put her hand on her head and say “bow?” So girly. I know I’m to blame for that, but I kind of don’t mind! She’s started “singing” along to songs. And overall loves to be large and in charge. She’ll “pull” us up from whatever we are doing to lead us around the house and point to things. We make friends everywhere we go. Vivacious. Sassy. Vocal. Friendly. Enthusiastic. Explorative. Passionate. I love seeing these things develop. She’s QUITE the handful these days, but I love that she’s so passionate about everything. It’s a battle being consistent with behavior (you know, like not hitting me in the face or doing the exact opposite of what mama says) but I’m so thankful for the privilege of being the one who helps mold her into her own little person. She’s a precious gift. Every night I breathe a deep, deep sigh of relief when I put her to bed, because I am that exhausted, but I miss her right after I shut her door. That seems to be motherhood. It could be the worst day full of tantrums and fussiness, but when the days is done I wouldn’t trade a single second.

Doing the working-traveling-writing-ministry-mama thing is no joke. I feel like I’m living very raw these days. My heart is pulled so many different ways that it feels exposed and out in the open. But at the same time every single second was lived with purpose. It’s all for ONE goal – more glory for Christ. I find it crazy that that more everything and motherhood can coexist in my current reality, but it does. That is my path. And I wouldn’t trade any aspect. I’m tired, spent and have given all 100% and more, almost always waking up tired, and yet strangely invigorated. I KNOW this is my calling for this season – all of it, all the crazy. It’s too much for me to handle on my own, and that is the point. I need daily, minute by minute, breath by breath kind of grace like I’ve never needed before. I won’t lie and say I don’t (almost daily) ask God how all the pieces are going to work out, how it’s all going to be done, and how I’m going to keep the plates spinning. It’s then that I find the truest rest, as nuts as that sounds, in the smack-dab middle of all the spinning, going, doing, mothering, writing, working, investing, and whatever else. This is the best, most beautiful journey and I’m so thankful it’s hard. I’m so glad Elle is so busy and full of life. I’m so blessed we are at church so much. I’m so thankful I have so many sweet friendships. I’m so elated that I have more than enough work that I LOVE. I’m so honored to have the chance to WRITE worship songs. I’m so ecstatic I get to invest in people. I’m so overjoyed that I’ve been given hard things to walk through, so that I may know a deeper grace and see God more clearly. I’m so glad for it all. When I get my perspective right, I feel like the most blessed woman on the planet for what God has entrusted to me. How humbling! What an honor! The girl I was 6 years ago longed for these things, albeit even though they look different than my dreams then. Heavy things. Full plates. Busy seasons. They are blessings. In every season I have a reason to sing; I have a reason to worship.